Hollee vs. Jordan

Now you may have noticed that most of these posts have been about Andrew, with a few guest appearances from Jack. The reason for this is just, Andrew is home with me all day, every day and he is 5, just a silly age. So I decided to put up a few of my favorite stories of all my kids.
Now I asked my sister if i could put up this story because it kind of makes Jordan sound like a bully, but he totally isn't. He's one of the sweetest boys ever! The keyword in that sentence is "boy" though, he's always been a boy through and through......

There were some key differences between Hollee and Jordan when they were babies. Hollee a girl, Jordan a boy. Hollee a first child that was by herself most of the time, Jordan a second child. Not just any second child either, his older sister was the first grandchild on both sides of their family so she was spoiled as all get out! Hollee was quiet and quite frankly, a lazy baby, Jordan was a ball of energy. The kid didn't know how to walk, only run, run, run. Also, Jordan may have been 5 months younger, but he was bigger.
Sorry I couldn't put up a younger picture of Hollee, I really need to scan in some of her tiny baby pictures.

Hollee and Jordan got along for the most part, they crawled together for a little while, they saw each other all the time. One day Jordan discovered that he was bigger than Hollee and he liked it. She would come over to his house to be dragged around by his older sister (which I am sure was a welcome break for him) and he decided he wanted in on the action too. So he started pushing and hitting Hollee any time he had the chance. Hollee would just whimper. Seriously, she was too lazy to even cry. All of us parents watched this change come and wondered what to do. This continued for a couple of weeks until this fateful day.....
Hollee was sitting on the floor of Jordan's living room. She was (lazily) playing with a toy similar to this...

(Do you remember it now Gabrielle?)
She would hit the balls, slowly lean over to get them, put them back in and hit them again. Hollee had not yet seen Jordan and was having lots of fun. Jordan walked in the living room. He was in a good mood and he had no intentions of picking on his cousin at the moment. Hollee looked up at Jordan and something close to panic came into her eyes. She looked down and saw two little plastic balls. She picked them up, walked right over to Jordan and with one ball in each hand bashed him on either side of the head with the balls. Jordan was shocked! He started to cry and she walked away looking a little bit too satisfied. I didn't know what to do, I was more shocked than Jordan. Then Dave (Jordan's dad) busted up laughing and so did I. Later that day Hollee watched Jordan bite his older sister then proceeded to bite him twice, both times unprovoked. We quickly got that nipped in the bud and from that day forward they never fought again. Really, they NEVER fought again.



p.s. Did you notice my new background? kind of remind you of clown cars? Stay tuned...

Interfering With Babies

I babysit my niece Sam a couple times a week.

If I'm lucky I get a few precious moments of being her most favorite person in the whole world in the morning. Today I got a whole hour of being her favorite person. It was adorable. She wanted me to chase her, she giggled, she smiled, she even came up to me while I was sitting and moved my hand out of her way so she could climb on my lap and just cuddle. When this baby cuddles it's the sweetest thing ever. She puts her cheek right against mine and coos while she plays with my hair. ADORABLE!!

Well, things change when Jack wakes up. I now come in a very far away second.

Jack walked in the room and she started giggling like she always does. Lucky for me Jack can't start his day until he has given me a good cuddle. So he smiled at Samantha and walked over to me and climbed on my lap. This ticked Sam off. She threw a full blown fit. She screamed, she kicked and the tears immediately started (she's really good at that). So I picked her up and put her next to Jack on my lap. The fit automatically turned off. She smiled, threw her arms around Jack's neck and was again the happiest little girl you have ever seen. They are now sitting on the floor eating her dry cereal. He leans over and eats it like a puppy dog (noises included) and she laughs her butt of every time.

I think I like coming in second.

Preconceived Notions

Don't worry, he's fine. (I have to put in these disclaimers before I tell the story or Grandma will have a panic attack!)

Andrew fell and split his head. There was all sorts of blood, because it was on his head, but it was very small. I told him I had to look at it so I could see if he needed stitches.
He says, "I don't want stitches! Stitches hurt!"
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the clock ticks...
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"What are stitches?"

Like I said, he's fine, he didn't need stitches.

Dissapointed Already?

Some of my older kids came home from school today with a newspaper. On the cover was a very impressive picture of the National Mall during inauguration. The kids were fascinated by this. Andrew asked them what it was (we listened on the radio instead of watching so he hadn't seen). Hollee told him it was when President Obama was sworn in.
He says, "Huh?" which is classic Andrew. Head cocked, eyebrow up and all.
She says, "When he was swearing in to be the president".
A look of complete devastation came across his face. He could not believe it. We got a brand new president and he already had broken this kids heart.
He says, "He was swearing in"?
"Yes".
"Does he lie too"?
After we had stopped laughing we told him that there are two types of swearing. Cussing, and promising, we told him it was the promising type.

His faith was automatically restored. How cute is he?!

At It Again!

A little while ago our friends Clint and Amber came over for dinner. Our kids have known Clint for over 4 years now so they are really comfortable and have lots of fun with him. Well one of the dishes at our dinner was balsamic apples with shallots. These were being passed around the table quite a bit. Clint was helping out and dished some up for Andrew. Some apples fell on the table cloth right in front of Andrew's plate. Andrew looked at the apples, Clint looked at the apples, then before Andrew could get to them Clint stuck his fork in them from across the table and stuffed them in his mouth. Andrew looked at Clint in utter disbelief. His expression quickly turned into disgust.
Clint looks at him and says, "What?". Like he's all innocent.
Andrew looks at him and says, with a tone of voice like- you should have looked-,"There was a hair on that".
Clint looked a little something like this.....

....pretty much everybody at the table (excluding Andrew, he was the perfect picture of seriousness) bust up laughing.
Clint looks at him and says, "Why did you tell me? Couldn't you let me think it was ok?".
We all continue laughing as Andrew just looks at him and shakes his head.
Andrew took a few more bites of food, then calmly looked at Clint and says, "I was just kidding, there wasn't a hair".
The delivery of Andrew's first practical joke was perfect. He's a mischievous little guy.

Where Does It Come From?

I don't remember much from when I was five, but I'm pretty sure that I did not have an endless fountain of quick witted remarks to everything that was said within a 2 mile radius.
It is almost impossible to argue with or get mad at Andrew (my five year old). No matter what we say he always has something to say back. Now I don't think this really counts as back-talk. He is not saying these things to be snotty or get out of trouble, he just can not let an opportunity to make somebody laugh pass. It's in his blood.
Yesterday in church he was sitting on Timm's lap and would not stop being a wiggle worm. Finally Timm tells him that if he doesn't stop wiggling he will sit on the floor. So, instead of just stopping, he freezes his face and says, "ok" out of the corner of his mouth. Timm then picks him up and puts him on his lap (he had wiggled his way off) and Andrew is in freeze frame. He had his arms out like a zombie, his face in a grimace, and his legs are oddly splayed like he was just about to sit when he was frozen. Of course this is when the bishopric looks over. Timm says they just looked confused. How do you not laugh at that?
Of course that is just one of the dozens of things he does every single day. There is no way I could even remember let alone write all the things he says and does.

Now, I promised Dave that I would put in a blurb about Andrews underwear. I can't find any good pictures so it doesn't get it's own post. Dave saw Andrew running around in his unders (everybody has at some point, he doesn't like clothes) and finally somebody else thought they were as funny as I do. Andrew has these King Kong underwear, I cannot wash, fold, put away or lay out these underwear without laughing. On the back there is a big picture of King Kong destroying the city, but right on the front it says in big letters "KONG". A little funny right? But wait, look a little closer, is that a subtitle? Yes it is, it says "8th Wonder of the World". Seriously, it does.

Jack and the Donut

So we all know the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, but today we are going to tell the story of Jack and the Donut.....

The first Jack was a small, thin and hungry boy.

Our Jack was a small, fat and hungry boy.

The first Jack wanted nothing more than to be able to feed himself and his mother.
Our Jack wanted nothing more than to feed his fat belly.

The first Jack climbed a beanstalk finding a beautiful treasure that would buy anything his small family would ever need.

Our Jack had a yummy donut. Ate every bite of it, but that wasn't enough for him. He wanted his sisters donut too.

The first Jack took the treasure and was chased by an angry giant. He ran down the beanstalk and chopped it down, thus getting away.
Our Jack also took the treasure and was also chased by a giant (he was very tiny). Here is where we split paths for a moment. Instead of going down a beanstalk and getting out of reach of his giant he took his treasure and held it high above his head and ran away, but wait, isn't he smaller and just holding his treasure closer to the giant? Then how did he get away just like the first Jack? Luckily our giant was much nicer and thought that this was so funny that she let him have his treasure.

The moral of Jack and the Beanstalk? Sometimes you can screw up so badly (trading your cow for beans for instance) yet still end up ok in the end.
The moral of Jack and the Donut? It pays to be cute when you're not very smart.