Preconceived Notions

Don't worry, he's fine. (I have to put in these disclaimers before I tell the story or Grandma will have a panic attack!)

Andrew fell and split his head. There was all sorts of blood, because it was on his head, but it was very small. I told him I had to look at it so I could see if he needed stitches.
He says, "I don't want stitches! Stitches hurt!"
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the clock ticks...
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"What are stitches?"

Like I said, he's fine, he didn't need stitches.

Dissapointed Already?

Some of my older kids came home from school today with a newspaper. On the cover was a very impressive picture of the National Mall during inauguration. The kids were fascinated by this. Andrew asked them what it was (we listened on the radio instead of watching so he hadn't seen). Hollee told him it was when President Obama was sworn in.
He says, "Huh?" which is classic Andrew. Head cocked, eyebrow up and all.
She says, "When he was swearing in to be the president".
A look of complete devastation came across his face. He could not believe it. We got a brand new president and he already had broken this kids heart.
He says, "He was swearing in"?
"Yes".
"Does he lie too"?
After we had stopped laughing we told him that there are two types of swearing. Cussing, and promising, we told him it was the promising type.

His faith was automatically restored. How cute is he?!

At It Again!

A little while ago our friends Clint and Amber came over for dinner. Our kids have known Clint for over 4 years now so they are really comfortable and have lots of fun with him. Well one of the dishes at our dinner was balsamic apples with shallots. These were being passed around the table quite a bit. Clint was helping out and dished some up for Andrew. Some apples fell on the table cloth right in front of Andrew's plate. Andrew looked at the apples, Clint looked at the apples, then before Andrew could get to them Clint stuck his fork in them from across the table and stuffed them in his mouth. Andrew looked at Clint in utter disbelief. His expression quickly turned into disgust.
Clint looks at him and says, "What?". Like he's all innocent.
Andrew looks at him and says, with a tone of voice like- you should have looked-,"There was a hair on that".
Clint looked a little something like this.....

....pretty much everybody at the table (excluding Andrew, he was the perfect picture of seriousness) bust up laughing.
Clint looks at him and says, "Why did you tell me? Couldn't you let me think it was ok?".
We all continue laughing as Andrew just looks at him and shakes his head.
Andrew took a few more bites of food, then calmly looked at Clint and says, "I was just kidding, there wasn't a hair".
The delivery of Andrew's first practical joke was perfect. He's a mischievous little guy.

Where Does It Come From?

I don't remember much from when I was five, but I'm pretty sure that I did not have an endless fountain of quick witted remarks to everything that was said within a 2 mile radius.
It is almost impossible to argue with or get mad at Andrew (my five year old). No matter what we say he always has something to say back. Now I don't think this really counts as back-talk. He is not saying these things to be snotty or get out of trouble, he just can not let an opportunity to make somebody laugh pass. It's in his blood.
Yesterday in church he was sitting on Timm's lap and would not stop being a wiggle worm. Finally Timm tells him that if he doesn't stop wiggling he will sit on the floor. So, instead of just stopping, he freezes his face and says, "ok" out of the corner of his mouth. Timm then picks him up and puts him on his lap (he had wiggled his way off) and Andrew is in freeze frame. He had his arms out like a zombie, his face in a grimace, and his legs are oddly splayed like he was just about to sit when he was frozen. Of course this is when the bishopric looks over. Timm says they just looked confused. How do you not laugh at that?
Of course that is just one of the dozens of things he does every single day. There is no way I could even remember let alone write all the things he says and does.

Now, I promised Dave that I would put in a blurb about Andrews underwear. I can't find any good pictures so it doesn't get it's own post. Dave saw Andrew running around in his unders (everybody has at some point, he doesn't like clothes) and finally somebody else thought they were as funny as I do. Andrew has these King Kong underwear, I cannot wash, fold, put away or lay out these underwear without laughing. On the back there is a big picture of King Kong destroying the city, but right on the front it says in big letters "KONG". A little funny right? But wait, look a little closer, is that a subtitle? Yes it is, it says "8th Wonder of the World". Seriously, it does.